the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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