oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
