I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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