Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
