$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
