Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
