he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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