these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
