You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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