Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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