I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
