how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
