if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
