Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
