i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
