My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
