how can u be prego again
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he puts the penis in happiness.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
