My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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