So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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