I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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