zippers are such a cool invention
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
