i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
love makes seman taste better
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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