I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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