Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
