that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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