He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
