Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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