i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
