Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
