Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
