To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
