eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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