Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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