She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
