Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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