my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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