I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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