Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
