So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
