just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
