i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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