I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
