your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
