So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
