I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
