The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
