Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
