Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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