Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
