Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've blown a few things in my day
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
