Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
